Dealing with the Negative

There are times when I want to shout out to the world that I am a fraud.

I tell co-workers that I have no clue what I am doing, they chuckle, not recognizing that this is how I truly feel in the moment. I think that I have no right to write a blog about ADD and Money, because I am not an expert in either field.

• Even though I do not have ADD, I have not been able to read a book about ADD from cover to cover.
• I do not have the qualifications of most of my blogging peers
• I have a negative net worth, I do not own a home, I am still carrying credit card debt.
• I can not read blogs about ADD or personal finances for more than 10 minutes at a time.
• I find spelling mistakes on this blog even though I have spell check.

I could spend all day focusing on the negative aspects of myself, but I fear that I would bore you. I focus way too much on the negative side of myself. This can cause ugly side effects, like focusing on what other people think about you, or focusing on the negative qualities of others so that you can drag them down to your level.

It is easy to find negative qualities about yourself and your personal finances. The key is to deal with these negative feelings and to overcome them. Here are some of the ways that I deal with my negative feelings:

• I notice that when I feel like I am a fraud, it is because I am dealing with something that is unfamiliar. Dealing with the unfamiliar (change) is important for your mental, physical, and financial health.
• My blog is based on a specific category, that no one else has decided to write about. While I am not a expert in either category, I know enough about personal finance and ADD to be crazy enough to write this blog.
• While we are not where we want to be financially, we have taken major positive steps to reduce debt. Not buying a home right now is a good financial decision, we are not in a optimal position to buy a home, and I am not sure where we am going to be in the next five years.
• Having a short attention span is normal, and I just have to do slow down and review my blog posts before I post them

Having negative feelings about money is normal. The only way to reduce the negative feelings is to actually deal with them. This is not easy, because it can be comfortable living in a state of denial. The fear of dealing with financial issues is often greater than actually dealing with the issue and living with the consequences.

Comments

[delfina]

okey, i'm 14 years old so i definitely don't consider myself as an adult, and i'm from Argentina (so forgive me if i have some spelling errors), but i really feel identified with some of the things you say like "I could spend all day focusing on the negative aspects of myself. I focus way too much on the negative side of myself. This can cause ugly side effects, like focusing on what other people think about you, or focusing on the negative qualities of others so that you can drag them down to your level.". i'm just like that; sometimes i even try to force myself to think at least one good thing about myself and i just can't. and i specially felt identified when you said "I notice that when I feel like I am a fraud, it is because I am dealing with something that is unfamiliar. Dealing with the unfamiliar (change) is important for your mental, physical, and financial health.", i actually think that concept helped me, so i could even say thank you, because sometimes it's hard to find answers to why we are what we are, to why we feel the things we feel and we make the mistakes we make; sometimes i can figure me out by myself and sometimes it's good to know what other people that are partially in my same situation than me have figured out about themselves. anyway, i just wanted to say that :)

[max]

I am 85 years old and have suffered all my life of ad-hd and on occasions ocd has taken the better of me.
Never been on medication, my wife has been able to cope with my disorder.
I am a born optimist and a realist.
Hope my story may be helpfull for those who feel less adequate.