When thinking about the word NO, I tend to think about the negative connotation that the word NO has attached to it. NO I can't do this, NO I can't afford that; it makes you feel like a failure when you have to tell someone NO. Many people with ADHD have additional issues with feeling like a failure because they often have had issues with school, chores, and other tedious tasks. This makes it more difficult for the ADHD adult to tell a client, their boss, a salesperson, or anyone else that they are unable to do something.
Telling someone NO can be difficult for anyone, but it is a critical skill in order to manage you finances, career, and personal life. Here are a few tips to help you to Just say NO:
1. Employ the 24 Hour Rule - Before making any major decision wait 24 hours so that you can take the time to process and discuss whether you should do something. Often we get caught up in the heat of the moment and say yes to something that really is not necessary or agree to do something that we are not passionate about.
2. Write down in a notebook what your passions, hobbies, and interest are. This will help to remind you what is really important to you and will help you to feel better about declining opportunities that don't fit in with your goals. This is something you want to update periodically because passion and interest change.
3. Find benefits for saying no. Examples of this include:
"I am not buying this state of the art vacuum because it is unrealistic that I will use it enough to justify the cost. I can spend my money on buying new web designing software so that I can expand my business."
" I will not accept a project to maintain a company's website, because I will be bored and the quality of the job will suffer. I can use the additional time to find work designing new site which I enjoy better."
" I will say no to my friends invitation to join his running club, because running does not bring out my passion and I do not want to become resentful toward my friend for joining his organization."
Telling someone NO should not give you a negative feeling, as long as your are saying NO so that you can better use your time, strengths, and money to better reflect how you want to live your life.
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