Adult ADD and Money

Guest Author - My Love Affair With Money

By: Diane Ladd (Reprinted with permission from ADD to LIFE)

We all struggle with budgeting and spending too much but is seems that those of us with ADD have more difficulty than most. The ADD symptoms of impulsivity, trouble with planning, lack of inhibition, disorganization, forgetfulness, and the tendancy toward addictions (like shopping too much) make budgeting painful.

Working with an ADHD Coach can help you put your money issues into perspective. By developing a partnership with an ADHD Coach you can develop structures that work for you and work through the process of  managing your money.

A few years ago I was given an assignment by my coach. She challenged me to write a story about my relationship with money. She suggested that I tell the story about money as my lover.

From time to time I have gone back to this assignment. As my feelings, beliefs and attitudes have changed the story has evolved.

I've included my assignment here for you to read and I challenge you to write about your own love affair money.

READ MORE >>

We all struggle with budgeting and spending too much but is seems that those of us with ADD have more difficulty than most. The ADD symptoms of impulsivity, trouble with planning, lack of inhibition, disorganization, forgetfulness, and the tendancy toward addictions (like shopping too much) make budgeting painful.

Working with an ADHD Coach can help you put your money issues into perspective. By developing a partnership with an ADHD Coach you can develop structures that work for you and work through the process of  managing your money.

A few years ago I was given an assignment by my coach. She challenged me to write a story about my relationship with money. She suggested that I tell the story about money as my lover.

From time to time I have gone back to this assignment. As my feelings, beliefs and attitudes have changed the story has evolved.

I've included my assignment here for you to read and I challenge you to write about your own love affair money.

READ MORE >>

Repost: Guest Authors

WANTED : Guest Authors for Adult ADD and Money

Qualifications: I am looking for people to submit articles that are related to both ADD and Money issues. Examples of money issues include personal finances, money management, career, and business ventures. Your post could be about tips to help ADD adults, it could be about your personal experiences with managing your own finances, or it could be anything that you want to write, as long as it relates to both ADD and Money. The content does not have to be original, it just has to have been written by you. You do not have to be an expert or even have your own blog to be a guest writer.

Benefits: The ability to reach a unique audience that is passionate about dealing with financial challenges. Your post will be listed on YOUR ADD/ADHD NEWS, LIVING WITH ADD, and PFBLOGS.ORG, . Your blog or website will be promoted in your post and will be included in a list of guest writers on the sidebar.

If you would like to be a guest blogger please CONTACT ME

I'm a bit Shopped Out

By: Tara McGillicuddy (Reprinted with permission from My ADD/ADHD Blog)

The women on my mother's side of the family have always loved shopping. Shopping was one of my grandmother's favorites things to do. When I was in my early 20's caught a bit of the shopping bug too. Back then I wasn't aware that I had ADD and that my shopping sprees were actually a way for me to self-medicate. I bought a lot of stupid things because they were on sale. Stupid little shopping sprees and forgetting to pay my credit cards on time weren't a good combination at the time either.

A decade or so later I have a much better understanding of my own ADD and in fact really don't like shopping very much. I actually only go shopping now when I need or really want something. I don't do it anymore to relieve boredom and stimulate my brain. I just don't find it fun anymore and most of the time I get over stimulated and leave even the smallest of stores exhausted.

Last week my mother called me and invited me to go shopping with her and my sister. She offered to buy both of us dresses for family a wedding later this month. So, even though I don't like shopping I do like free dresses and seeing my family. So I accepted the invitation.

When I accepted the invitation I really didn't think it through too much that the place where we were going shopping was just about a 2 hour drive for me. When I got the Outlets to meet my mother, sister, and 2 year old nephew I was already a bit spent from the ride.

We met for lunch (and I wont even go into that) then we went to a store that doesn't even carry dresses!! My mother ended up buying me a pair of shoes so I shouldn't really be complaining but my plan was to just buy a dress! When we finally got to the store that had the dresses I really surprised myself! I really liked the first dress that I tried on.

I was now done!! I had a dress and I couldn't do anymore shopping. I couldn't go walking around the maternity store with my mother and my sister (she's 7 months pregnant). I couldn't go to what ever other store it was my mother suggested but didn't really hear. I decided that it was time for me to go home and that's what I did! My mother and sister know that I don't really do to well shopping for long periods of time so they weren't too surprised when I left.

Between the crazy 4+ hours of driving I did, the lunch, and the shopping, I am exhuasted!!

If you'd like to know more about Tara, check out her sites:

• Living with ADD
• ADDCLASSES.COM
• My ADD/ADHD Blog
• Your ADD Coach

10 Steps For Personal Finance Organization

By NCN, (Reprinted with Permission from No Credit Needed)

Here are the top 10 things I do that help me to keep my personal finances organized:

1. Limit the number of “paper” bills. Almost all of the bills that I pay monthly can be received online or via email. I “print” a copy of each bill to a file on my hard drive, for future reference.

2. Limit the number of “paper” checks. In connection with number 1, I pay almost every bill that I have via Wachovia’s online bill pay. Wachovia offers a free checking account, has good service, offers a local branch, and has free online bill pay.

3. Use an “accordion” style portable file box. I use one of these, which I purchased for about 7 dollars at Office Max, and I keep all of my bills in it. Once I pay a bill, I keep the original bill in one of these file boxes, arranging bills via alphabetization.

4. Do a daily, weekly, or monthly “sweep” of my desk / office / kitchen counter. This will be different for almost everyone. Depending on how many bills you receive, how much mail you get, and how much room you have for clutter, you need to design a system which allows you to “clean up and clear out” all of the necessary / unnecessary paper work that you have accumulated.

5. Throw junk away. Seriously, most people keep way, way, way too much stuff in their homes. Get rid of non-essential stuff.

6. KEEP the stuff you need. As a parallel to number 5, remember to keep documents, bills, and paperwork that you might need. I don’t really focus on how long I am supposed to keep a document. I keep everything that I need, organized in my file boxes, underneath our bed. I don’t follow a 3 or 5 or 7 year rule. I keep all important documents. If you will organize them, you will find that they do not take up THAT much space, and you will create peace-of-mind, knowing that your documents are available.

7. Buy a big plastic “storage tub” or “storage box”. If you are like me, you will find that some days (or weeks) you do not have the time (or the energy or the desire) to get organized. This is where the big plastic storage tub comes in handy. Take all of your accumulated paperwork, and literally throw it into the tub. Place the lid on the tub, and put the tub up, out of your way. When you have time to concentrate, get the tub, empty its contents, and file accordingly. The storage tub has done more to reduce clutter in our home than any other device!

8. Talk to your spouse (family, children, etc.). Get everyone on board with organization. Like rowing a ship, everyone must needs be going in the SAME direction, with the SAME intensity.

9. Know thyself!!! Are you a “hoarder”? Are you “forgetful”? Try to understand WHY you put things off, and then take steps to change your behavior. Do not define yourself by your struggles!

10. Relax. ENJOY the idea of being more organized. If you can only take one single organizational step per day (or week, or month)… TAKE IT!

If you'd like to know more about NCN, check out his sites:
No Credit Needed Blog
No Credit Needed Network
No Credit Needed Podcast
No. Calories Needed

Best of Guest Authors Personal Stories

Adult ADD and money. If you have ADD, then like me, you probably find that these two topics are inseparable. How many of us can name mismanagement of funds as one of our biggest setbacks in life? Quite a lot of us, I would bet. Good money management is right up there with organized closets, lasting job satisfaction, punctuality and regular sleep as elusive holy grails constantly sought by our addle-brained selves.     READ MORE >>

The big challenge is yet to come. I have a nagging, creeping dread in the corners of my mind: one day, I will have to earn an income, pay bills for living expenses, and not get into debt because I "forgot" a payment or a signature or that I needed to pay for water. Yes, yes, online bill-pay, automated this-and-that, direct whoosiewhatsit. I'm a natural worrier, so nothing you say will really comfort me. Luckily, I'm fairly easily distracted.   READ MORE >>

Adult ADD and money. If you have ADD, then like me, you probably find that these two topics are inseparable. How many of us can name mismanagement of funds as one of our biggest setbacks in life? Quite a lot of us, I would bet. Good money management is right up there with organized closets, lasting job satisfaction, punctuality and regular sleep as elusive holy grails constantly sought by our addle-brained selves.     READ MORE >>

Get Organized with Bill Pay

By Sara Wallace from Debt Management Talk (a forum where you can discuss anything related to personal finance, and share in the revenue of the forum.)

Many banks are now offering free online bill pay. While it sounds like a hassle to set up (filling out paperwork at the bank, creating a user ID and password, familiarizing yourself with the software) it really will save you time, money and energy. Here’s how:

Say Goodbye to Stamps

Every time they raise the costs of stamps, I find a few more ways to avoid using Uncle Sam’s delivery service. When I can, I use e-mail, fax machines, and personal delivery to get my message from A to B. This is the same concept of online banking. By paying our bills online, rather than stamping a forty cent fee on every one, we save nearly $10 a month, or $120 a year. On top of that, we have also saved on late fees. When we paid our bills the archaic way, we were at the mercy of the mail man. That could take days. Paying our bills online means we can send them in as late as three days before they are due. And best of all, there is no licking envelopes!

Keep it Organized

The real reason I love online bill pay is because it helps keep me organized. Bills we consistently pay each month (mortgage, car payment, etc.) are deducted from our bank account routinely, without lifting a finger. The system sends our mortgage company the exact amount it should, when it should, each month. Thus, we have never missed or been late on a payment. Word of caution: be careful with certain bills that fluctuate month to month--for example, water and electricity bills. These should not be put in the system as automatic, since the bill will vary each time.

Accountability

If you are trying to keep an eye on your spending, try this: Print the monthly statement of your online bill pay. Highlight the expenses that went to something besides the necessities (like shopping sprees, expensive nights out, etc). Take a look at everything highlighted and see how you could cut back. This is a great way to hold yourself accountable for your spending. The initial set up might be somewhat of a hassle, but once the initial time is invested, there’s not much to lose. Sorry Uncle Sam, but the times are changing! So save some time and sanity and get organized with online bill pay.

Developing a Strategy for Pursuing Work-Life Goals

Lynn Friedman is a clinical psychologist, psychoanalyst and executive coach in Chevy Chase, Maryland, specializing in workplace and relationship concerns.

She writes for the Washington Business Journal and the Washington Post interactive site and is on the associate faculty at Johns Hopkins University. Those interested in consulting her can reach her at: (301) 656-9650. www.drlynnfriedman.com, (article reprinted with permission)

This is the second part of a three-part series on developing and pursuing work-life goals. Part I dealt with how to identify your work-life goals and examined obstacles that interfere with this task.

But, what if you know what you want to do -- but you aren't sure where to begin? What if you know that you want to become a doctor or a computer graphic artist or teacher or to start a daycare center -- Or, on a more personal vein, what if you know that you want to find Mr. or Ms. Right, but you aren't sure how to go about it or where to look.

In other words, what if you have a goal, but you aren't sure about how to even start creating a plan to pursue your goal?

First, ask yourself what it will take to achieve your goal. What steps do you need to take? If you don't know, you need to do a little research.

Here are some of the several ways to research:

1. Speak to people in the field that you are considering. For example, if you want to be a doctor, talk to doctors. If you find this prospect a bit anxiety-provoking, prepare yourself. If you want to become a computer graphic artist, talk to those who have successfully done it. If you are entering a competitive field, talk with people in another locale. For example, if you want to open a floral shop in your small town, don't approach the local florist. Rather, talk to the florist in an adjacent locale.

   This step often intimidates people who lack a sense of "healthy entitlement." They figure, "Why would anyone want to talk to me?"

   If this is the case for you, then try some of the other steps below.

2. Go to your local library or bookstore. For example, if you want to be a doctor, read some books on how to become a doctor. If you want to be an web-based graphics designer, find books on that.
3. Contact relevant associations and join them. For example, if you want to become involved with the Internet (and you're a woman), join DC Web Women. If you want to become a physician, contact the American Medical Association and ask them if you can become a student member.
4. Volunteer. If you do not have the appropriate education to join as a bona fide member, contact the local chapter and ask how you could serve. If you are a skilled organizer, offer to help at the front desk at the next chapter meeting, collect money, and meet the members.
5. Find out if any place with which you are affiliated will provide helpful information. For example, if you have any kind of university connection -- alumni or a student -- talk with your alma mater's career service department.

Remember that your goal is to find out how people became a web page designer, doctor, attorney, teacher, etc.

But, what if you fully intend to take these steps, but you find yourself stymied. Somehow, you can't get to the library -- or you don't make those phone calls. Then it's time to examine what is getting in the way. Some possible obstacles include the following:

1. Obligations to the important people in your life, especially small children.
2. A belief that you are not good enough, deserving enough or that you will be unsuccessful.
3. A sense of insecurity, self-doubt, anxiety or depression.

Obligations to the important people in your life, especially small children.

It is hard to deny the needs of small children, particularly during their formative years, especially when one appreciates that they are only small once. Still, it may be very important for your children to see you reach for and pursue your own dreams. This provides a wonderful example for them. So, even if you are deferring your most time-consuming goals until your children are a bit older, you may want to begin to pursue your goal in some, more limited way. Alternatively, you may decide to pursue the goal even while your children are small. If you do this, make sure to set aside a certain prescribed time that is just for you and your child. If you have more than one child, it is a good idea to have weekly "private times" with each child alone. Even if it is just for an hour, this time should be time for you and your child to relax and enjoy each other -- without intrusion from demanding siblings.

A belief that you are not good enough, deserving enough or that you will be unsuccessful.

A sense of insecurity, self-doubt, anxiety or depression.

There are a couple of steps that you might consider.

1. Find a mentor. That is, find someone from a similar background or situation that has successfully done what you are trying to do. Talk with them about some of your apprehensions and doubts.
2. Join a work-life group. In this context, you will get help planning, small, discrete steps that you can take to pursue your goals. Moreover, you will receive support -- as well as the opportunities to help others with their goals.
3. If you continue to find, despite your best efforts, that your insecurity and self-doubt gets the better of you, seek analytically-oriented psychotherapy. There are reasons why a person is filled with self-doubt, anxiety or depression. Often, the underlying causes can be effectively addressed in psychotherapy. This sort of treatment can be liberating -- allowing the individual to pursue many work-life goals that historically had been elusive.

What if you've read part one: Envisioning Your Work-life Plan and part two (this article)? What if you know what you'd like to do and you've developed a plan for pursuing your goals? But, what if you can't seem to galvanize yourself to get started? Read part three: Developing a Strategy for Pursuing Work-Life Goals: Overcoming Resistance

People who like this article also enjoyed:

Envisioning Your Work-life Plan

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Developing a Strategy for Pursuing Work-Life Goals: Overcoming Resistance

A psychoanalytic approach to career assessment Download Dr. Lynn Friedman's pdf file on this interesting tool.

Strategies for getting your Career on Track: Selecting your career coach

How do you know when everyday anxiety or stress becomes anxiety disorder?

Lynn Friedman is a clinical psychologist, psychoanalyst and executive coach in Chevy Chase, Maryland, specializing in workplace and relationship concerns.

She writes for the Washington Business Journal and the Washington Post interactive site and is on the associate faculty at Johns Hopkins University. Those interested in consulting her can reach her at: (301) 656-9650. www.drlynnfriedman.com, (article reprinted with permission)

                                                                                                                                                          

Symptoms of anxiety are more prevalent than the common cold. Who hasn't experienced a knot in the stomach, heart palpitations, sweaty palms, worrying, irritability, difficulty concentrating, muscle tension, a dry mouth, difficulty sleeping or restlessness? Who hasn't felt "wired" or found that they were easily fatigued? These feelings and symptoms are ubiquitous.But, how does one know when these symptoms are an anticipated, reasonable reaction to endless gridlock, long commutes and the pervasive workaholism that is endemic to the greater metropolitan area? Or, how does one know when they are indicative of a more significant problem? Once one has determined that their symptoms warrant evaluation, how does one go about seeking treatment? What sorts of treatment options are available?

Everyday Anxiety

Everyone experiences anxiety. In small amounts it can be useful. That is, it can serve as a warning signal that something isn't quite right. Take a classic example, undoubtedly familiar to anyone who has been a student. You're in college, the term is nearing its end. Finals are on the horizon. You're behind in your reading and you're behind in your studying. Your heart starts to palpitate. You experience feelings of impending doom. You imagine what it would be like to fail your courses. You become worried. And, you are compelled to take action. You hit the books and you study. You pass your finals with flying colors. In this case, your anxiety served a productive, advisory role. In a sense your anxiety was adaptive. It signaled to you that trouble was imminent and it prompted you to take effective action. It helped you to function and to meet the demands of your every day life.

A little bit of anxiety can be motivating. It can help us to go to work when we'd rather play, to clean when we'd rather relax and to carry out the responsibilities of our every day lives. But, how do we know when we have crossed the fine line between everyday anxiety and generalized anxiety disorder?

When Everyday Anxiety becomes "Disorder"

How does one know when anxiety represents a significant difficulty? This is an important question, many people worry that they may be depressed but anxiety is actually a far more prevalent psychological concern. Anxiety, unchecked, can lead to significant health and mental health difficulties.

It is important to know when everyday anxiety crosses the threshold and becomes "anxiety disorder". Anxiety disorder is the most common of psychological concerns. The good news: it is also the most treatable.

We should become concerned when anxiety begins to persistently interfere with our capacity to function effectively in our everyday lives. For example, let's take the head of a start-up who experiences profound apprehension in preparing for a meeting with her board. She attempts to get ready but has difficulty concentrating. She worries about sounding silly or incompetent. As she tries to organize her ideas, she finds that she can not focus. She worries about the outcome of a potentially unsuccessful meeting. In fact, she finds that she is so worried that she is unable to formulate her ideas and do her best work. At night, she reports that her sleep isn't restful.

While this type of experience is fairly common, if it is recurrent, it is evidence of maladaptive anxiety. That is, the anxiety is getting in the way of the individual's ability to function effectively in the workplace.

Similarly, we should become concerned when anxiety interferes with our establishing and maintaining the kinds of personal relationships that we seek. For example, let's take the woman who would like to date and marry but finds rather than enjoying dating -- she worries throughout the entire dating experience. Will he call? Won't he call? What does it mean that he doesn't call? What does it mean that he asks her out at the "last minute"? Will it last? Won't it last? She calls her friends, seeking reassurance. Instead of relaxing and having fun, she finds that she can't enjoy herself. Anxiety that interferes with our ability to have gratifying professional or personal lives warrants evaluation.

Evaluation and Treatment

How does one go about seeking evaluation and treatment and what sorts of treatments are effective? Research has demonstrated that many types of treatment are effective in alleviating anxiety disorders. How one goes about seeking treatment reflects ones personal goals.

Some approaches focus primarily on helping the individual to achieve symptom relief. For example, medication can be helpful in helping the individual to calm down and not be so reactive to the stressors in her life. Like medication, cognitive behavior therapy focuses on alleviating the symptoms. Individuals are taught to manage their symptoms by altering their maladaptive thought patterns.

Psychoanalytic approaches work by helping the individual to deepen their understanding of what is making them so anxious. Individuals are encouraged to talk freely about themselves and their lives with the idea that they may come to understand and overcome their inner conflicts. For example, the woman who is anxious about dating may be very frightened for many reasons. She could be frightened of intimacy. A psychoanalytic therapy will help her to learn more about why she is so frightened of intimacy with the hope that as she deepens her self-understanding, she will become less frightened and more open to entering into a loving relationship. The idea is that if the anxiety can be fully understood and resolved, it is less likely to return.

A family therapy approach, works with all family members in an attempt to resolve conflicts leading to anxiety. Such an approach often leads to improved family relationships. As relationships improve anxiety attenuates.

Research shows that all of these approaches, and combinations of them, can be extremely helpful in treating anxiety disorder. The key is to seek early evaluation with a qualified mental health professional.

Does your anxiety warrant a professional evaluation?

Answer true or false to the following questions and find out. For at least the last several weeks: I have been excessively worried. I worry excessively about things. I have difficulty settling down and working on a project. I have difficulty concentrating. Most nights, I have difficulty falling asleep or my sleep is fitful and restless. My hands are sweaty and damp. Frequently, I am irritable. I am fatigued. My anxiety makes it difficult for me to do my job as well as I should. My anxiety makes it difficult for me to have the kind of relationships that I seek. I experience a lot of muscle tension. If you have any of these symptoms persistently, you should seriously consider a psychological evaluation.

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5 Steps to Managing Your Finances When You have ADHD

By Kim Collins, article reprinted with permission from The ADHD Kaos Corner Blog

Many people with AD/HD have trouble managing their finances. They usually don't have an effective system for paying bills and acquire an overwhelming amount of debt, due to impulsive spending. Managing finances requires attention to detail, record keeping, timeliness, and organizational skills; all things that are challenging to people with AD/HD.
Here is a simple, yet effective way to manage your money and pay your bills on time:

1. Collect: You need to know what's coming in and what's going out in order to effectively manage your money. Collect one month's worth of pay stubs and bills in one container.

2. Enter: Creating a visual representation of when your money comes in and goes out will give you a clearer picture of your financial situation and make it easier to develop a payment schedule. Print out a blank calendar or use an online calendar such as Yahoo Calendar or Google Calendar. Enter all payment amounts for each bill on its due date. Then enter the amount of your paycheck on the dates you get paid. This is your bill payment calendar for the month.

3. Analyze: Use your bill payment calendar to analyze when you have the money to pay your bills. If you get paid twice a month, then those days should be your bill payment days. Divide your bills into those that will be paid with the first check of the month and those that will be paid with the second check of the month. Schedule a reminder on your paydays to pay your bills and use your calendar to check off payments.

4. Setup: The easiest way to pay bills nowadays is online. Most banks offer free bill payment and even if your bank charges a fee; it may be worth it to avoid late fees. Sign up for online access to your bank if you don’t already have it and setup your bill payment service. Even if your bill can’t be paid electronically, your bank will mail out a paper check. Once you do the initial setup all you have to do is enter who, how much, and when you want your payment scheduled (just make sure to schedule your payments far enough in advance for the bill to be paid on time).

5. Budget: Now that you know how much money is coming in and what your fixed expenses are, you should start tracking your unfixed expenses. For the next month, try to collect all of the receipts where you paid cash. At the end of the month take your cash receipts and your bank statements and categorize your expenses. Where are you spending too much money? Where can you cut back? Now that you know how much you have, where it’s going and what needs to be paid when; you have control over your finances and can determine how much money you can actually afford to spend without breaking the bank.

*For those who find money management too overwhelming, there is help available. Daily Money Managers do everything from paying your bills for you to balancing your checkbook and organizing your records. For more information, check out The American Association of Daily Money Managers.

(If you would like to be a guest blogger please CONTACT ME)

Turn Your Clutter Into Cash!

By Jennifer Koretsky of ExperiencingADDvantages and ADDmanagement.com.

Most Americans accumulate books and CDs, but many adults with ADD are plagued by the endless clutter that these items create. 

Books on the shelves, in the closets and in the basement that were (maybe) read once and forgotten about. CDs in the rack, in the car and under the couch that make you cringe when you look at them  because you can't believe you actually listened to that music at one point.  These items clutter your home, collect dust, and annoy the hell out of you...yet you can't seem to throw them out!

Well, there is a solution to this problem!  Did you know that there are websites that will purchase your old books and CDs?  And it's really easy, too!

To make money on your old books, visit TextBooksRUs.com. Gather up all those old books (they need not be textbooks) and enter their ISBNs.  (An ISBN is a numeric code above the bar code on each book that identifies it.)  The site will then tell you which books they will accept and how much they are offering you.  You then print out a prepaid shipping label, box up your books, and deliver them to the post office.  In my experience, there are very few books that they don't accept. 

To make money on your old CDs, visit SecondSpin.com.  They also accept DVDs.  The process is similar: look up the CDs by name or UPC, see what is accepted and how much they are offering you.  Choose a payment method, pack up your stuff, and send it off.  Most CDs won't sell for much, but if you have a lot of stuff to get rid of, it adds up!  Unlike TextBooksRUs, SecondSpin doesn't pay for shipping, but sending your package "media mail" won't cost much.

Do yourself a favor and get paid to get rid of the clutter!

Cross-posted on ExperiencingADDvantages.com.