5 Things Emotionally Strong People Don't Do

Many people believe that emotional strength can be learned and practiced.

While this may be partially true, there’s a deeper truth to emotional strength that most people overlook.

It is often easier to be emotionally stronger if you do less than you should.

People who are emotionally vulnerable can spiral into panic and worry from even the slightest fear or anxiety.

Instant insecurity and doubt can be caused by the smallest negative comment.

Small frustrations can quickly escalate into days or hours of intense rumination.

The truth is that…

Many people don’t feel lacking in emotional strength. A series of bad behaviors can prevent people from developing their emotional strength.

Learn to recognize the negative habits in your life and eliminate them. This will help you to become more emotionally resilient. You will soon discover your natural emotional strength.

1. Punish yourself after mistakes

It’s easy to see in hindsight that depressing yourself is not a good way to feel better.

Yet, many people resort to intense self-criticism in the heat of the moment after a mistake.

Why must I be a mess?

This is it. Now everyone will know how fake and unworthy I am.

Candela is a great example of what I can do. She is cool and confident…

Self-criticism can only make us feel worse about our self-worth. The worst thing about yourself is the most difficult thing to do in life, whether it’s at work or in marriage.

So why do we do it? Why punish ourselves immediately when we make even the smallest mistake?

Self-criticism can be an unconscious attempt to motivate yourself to improve.

Many of us learn early that we must be tough on ourselves to achieve success. We go through life, beating ourselves up, but still achieving some success, and believing that our failures are due to self-criticism.

The question is:

• The majority of successful people are successful regardless of their self-criticism and not because they are.
• People who are emotionally resistant know that self-criticism can be very counterproductive. Although self-reflection is helpful after making mistakes, it’s not the same as self-criticism that we use to judge, criticize, or even belittle ourselves.
• You can become more emotionally resilient so that you can handle setbacks and errors calmly and effectively.
• Negative self-talk must be put aside.
• Stop judging yourself.
• Don’t be obsessed with perfection and hold yourself to unreasonable standards.
• You will be happier and perform better if you do.
• Simplicity, patience, and compassion are your greatest treasures. These are your greatest treasures. – Lao Tse

2. Take it personally

Most of us know that criticisms of us are not personal. It does not necessarily mean that the other person is bad or incompetent.

However, when we feel this way, our blood boils with anger or resentment.

Anger and resentment boil over our blood.

Instantaneously, we feel anxious and insecure.

A wave of shame and embarrassment overwhelms us.

Many people realize at an early age how criticizing behavior can lead to criticism of the person.

This story will teach you to accept criticisms as an insult and improve your self-esteem.

Even though you may have grown up and know that your circumstances have changed and that no one is attacking you personally, that feeling still remains.

Why?

Negative self-conversion is often the cause of taking things too seriously.

These are just a few examples.

Even though you are aware intellectually that your boss values you as a person and your latest proposal, it is still a criticism of your character. Why? Because you think of a negative self-conversion script, such as “Wow, I probably think that I’m stupid.”

Even though your partner knows intellectually that you love and respect him, his recent criticisms of how you handled the crisis with your son makes you feel horrible. Why? Because you were a terrible parent. You think, “He should have married somebody else.”

Keep this in mind:

• Habitually thinking is what determines how we feel.
• People who are emotionally strong know that their perceptions of what others say and the stories they tell about themselves is the most important thing.
• You can stop taking criticism too seriously and reacting in a negative way to it.
• Even if it feels like you’re the villain in a bad story you should remember that you are the author. You can change the story that you tell and it will affect how you feel.
• Self-awareness is the enemy to all art, whether it be writing, acting, painting, or even life itself. It is the highest form of art. Ray Bradbury

3. Trust in your coping skills

Problem with coping strategies is that they only treat symptoms and not the root cause.

While deep breathing exercises may reduce stress temporarily, they are not effective if you have a job where you are constantly stressed and unhappy.

Although a positive mantra may help you feel better about yourself, it will not fix your low self-esteem and broken promises.

However, coping skills can lead to dependency.

Your ability to manage anxiety is diminished when you call your sister for comfort every time you feel anxious.

You can lose motivation if you view inspiring YouTube videos whenever you feel low.

If you focus too heavily on your coping skills, you can end up overlooking the real issues and eventually losing sight of them.

You can be more resilient if you stop relying on your coping skills and instead develop better habits.

These are just a few examples.

Instead of trying to master dozens of stress management strategies, make a habit of managing your stressors.

Instead of trying to placate or avoid difficult people in your lives, learn how to assert yourself and set healthy boundaries.

Instead of looking for comfort and relief from others, create better habits of self-awareness.

Coping skills should not be used as a last resort.

Good habits are essential for emotional strength.

We fool ourselves with pride. Deep down, however, we are always fooled by our own pride. – Carl Jung

4. Get rid of your emotions

The tricky question: Is it bad to touch hot frying pans with your finger and feel the pain through your hand?

Answer: No!

It’s actually the opposite. Pain is good.

The body’s way to tell you something is wrong is through pain.

The pain you feel when your finger touches the hot pan isn’t really that severe. The tissue damage that could occur if your finger touches the hot pan is what is most dangerous. The messenger of pain is trying to help you.

The same principle applies to emotional suffering.

Although anxiety doesn’t feel great, it’s your brain telling you that you are in danger. Anxiety isn’t necessarily bad.

Frustration is not good. However, it’s your brain’s way to tell you something is wrong and must be fixed. Frustration is not a bad thing by itself.

Although it doesn’t feel great, grief is your brain’s way to tell you that you have lost something very important in your life. Grief isn’t necessarily bad.

Problem is, most of us have made a small but huge mistake our whole lives:

• It is easy to assume that something bad feels bad.
• We learn to avoid hurt feelings, as they can be very bad for us.
• Your brain will believe they are dangerous if you become accustomed to running from difficult emotions and moods.
• This means that you’ll feel worse for being sad, anxious, or mad the next time you feel them.
• This is why many people have difficulty resisting painful emotions. Each emotion becomes a second emotion when you train yourself to view them as dangerous.
• Anxiety anxiety can lead to panic.
• Anger at sadness can often lead to depression.
• We are all human and must experience painful emotions. They are not something you can avoid.
• You can stop feeling bad about feeling negative by learning to see emotions as uncomfortable or painful but not dangerous. You will be less emotional reactive and more resilient when you do this.
• It is much easier to feel less anxious when you are completely free from anxiety. The same goes for guilt. – Alan Watts

5. Trust your emotions

Wait, are you a psychologist? Do you say I shouldn’t trust my feelings because you don’t believe in me?

It is exactly.

Let’s see what happens: Emotions are not inherently magical or special.

Despite the fact that they are glorified in our culture, they are still part of our psychology along with thoughts, behaviors and beliefs.

Emotions can be very helpful, there is no doubt.

Fear can be a sign of danger, and can help you to stay safe.

Guilt can be a sign of guilt and help you to remember what you did wrong.

Anger is often a way to tell us something is wrong and motivates you to fix it.

However, emotions can be as useful as they are helpful.

Fear can make you avoid asking someone out, even if they are someone you like and you think it could be a wonderful experience.

Guilt can often become so severe that it causes self-destructive behaviors and chronic low self-esteem.

We can all recall many examples, both historical and personal, where anger has not brought out the best of humanity.

It is easy to answer:

• You will make a lot of poor decisions if you trust your feelings too much.
• People who are emotionally strong have a deeper relationship with their emotions. They listen, but rarely trust them.
• Trusting your feelings too much can lead to you becoming a slave to them. You may find yourself unable or unwilling to resist strong emotions pulling at you in one direction, or you will be unable to make tough decisions when you don’t feel it.
• Consider emotions people. Even your closest friend, you might not trust them in all situations.
• An accountant friend can give you sound advice on money. If he has had a string of bad relationships, it is unlikely that you would trust his advice about love.
• Respect your emotions, but don’t let them control you.
• Chaotic times do not mean that you should abandon rational thought. They are just another reason to be grateful for its existence. – C. Savastano